The Hairdresser
by piyanoia
Summary: ONESHOT and PURE CRACK. I was extremely bored, and decided to make this. It was more fun to draw than it was to write. But please R&R.


Do me a favor and don't ask. I'll probably deleate this later. It was just fun to draw the hairdos and everything.. xDD

But yeah. Naruto characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto. And all those other things in there belong to their respective and rightful owners. I only know some of them, and listing them all might make you not want to read my story...

Umm. Ta-da:

* * *

It was hard for the hairdresser to know where to start. The three male members of Team 7, Kakashi, Naruto, and Sasuke, had decided to spend their day at the salon. This particular hairdresser had been given the challenge of smoothing Sasuke's so-called silky hair. 

Biting his lip, the hairdresser squeezed some conditioner onto his palm and slowly lowered his fingers into the pointy mess. How a person's hair could be so gravity-defying, he decided not to guess. The hairdresser figured he was better off than his partner, who, at the moment, looked ready to shave Kakashi bald. After several rough "massages," the hairdresser decided to add quite a few additional gloves to his hands. He rubbed his aching fingers, before attacking the disaster once more.

"So. What kind of look are you going for?"

Sasuke hesitated a moment. "Whatever is in style nowadays. Something that makes me look better than that loser over there." He motioned toward the wild, blond-haired Naruto, who was currently bouncing in his chair, unable to choose a new hairdo.

"Very well then." The hairdresser wasn't sure what kind of hairstyle would suit a boy like Sasuke. As much as he hated to admit it, the gravity-defying-look went pretty well with his stern face. "I suggest you close your eyes. Some of the hair might fall into them."

"You're cutting it?"

"Just some of it. Or else your new 'do' won't work. I'll also have to grow some of it…"

"O-okay. Whatever. If you say so." Sasuke was a bit doubtful, but he had already paid for it. He was also afraid he wouldn't be able to pick a new hairdo, out of all the new, bizarre pictures in the pamphlet.

Meanwhile, Naruto gave up. There were so many **cool** pictures in there! They all looked better than Sasuke's porcupine look, so he decided to let the dresser pick, confident that they would all look good on him. He felt the fingers comb through his hair. Then, slowly but carefully, he snipped the ends.

_What is he doing? Oooh! I'm so excited!_ As Naruto trembled in happiness, the dresser repeatedly had to remind him to stay seated.

"Ohh I can't wait!!! What are you going to make me look like? That really hot blond guy from One Piece? Oh, oh, oh! Let me guess. That guy from the Ouran Host Club place? I'm **totally** going to look better than Sasuke! All the girls are going to ditch him and come to me now! Wow I should have done this ages ago!"

The hairdresser sighed. No matter how many times he said it, this kid just wouldn't stop bouncing in his chair.

"Will you please stop moving!?"

"S-sorry! I'm just so excited! I haven't had my hair done in ages!" Naruto babbled as slowly he began to resume his bouncing.

Suddenly, Naruto felt a rather rough nudge in his head. "Ow! What was that for?"

The hairdresser fell silent for a moment, and then said, "I told you not to bounce!"

"What happened??"

"N-nothing. I can fix it," the hairdresser sighed. In truth, he couldn't fix it though. The gel dried fast and hard, and he couldn't do much to return it to the soft, flowy look he had going.

Naruto noticed a change in the pattern. A quick upward sweep, some twirling, and then letting it drop. A few snips here and there, and then it repeated again. And again, and again.

"How's it coming?" Naruto asked uneasily.

"Oh it's great! Your hair'll be fine!"

"Okay, if you say so…"

The hairdresser looked over at his partners. He noticed one of them spiking a dark head, and the other tugging violently at a white mass of fluff. _Damn it. Why do we always get the weird ones…!_

Weird ones indeed. That poor white mass of hair. No, more like that poor hairdresser. No matter how many times she gelled it, it wouldn't fall to Kakashi's shoulders. It always bounced back up into her face.

Once, the poor girl almost ripped part of it out of Kakashi's scalp. At least there was one good thing about his thick hair: it was too strong to be yanked out.

"S-sir. Do you have any personal preferences as to a new hairstyle? I… I don't really know where to start…"

"No, no, no. Whatever you think suits! You are a hairdresser after all. You probably have better taste than me!" Kakashi smiled beneath his mask, but it did everything but please the young lady grappling his head.

"Very. Well. Then." The girl gritted her teeth. "I have the perfect style in mind. It should suit your… hair… very nicely."

Suddenly, she stopped forcing it down, but instead forced it up. In swift, smoothing motions, the hair miraculously took form. This should do fine…

---------------------

"Hi guys! I came to see how your day at the salon went! I can't wait to see your new ha-" Sakura stopped mid-sentence as her jaw dropped. She stammered to finish her sentence, but the words wouldn't come. She was too shocked to notice the drool pouring from the corner of her mouth.

"Hi Sakura-chan!" Naruto scampered over to Sakura to greet her, but stopped unsteadily when he saw her standing motionless, oblivious to his greeting.

"What's wrong?" Sasuke glanced at Naruto for a moment; it took a second for it to sink in. What had the hairdresser **done**!?

And then came Kakashi's arrival, which was followed by Sakura's passing out. The three stood unmoving, staring at each other's head in shock.

"I-i-i…..is that **you** S-Sasuke!?" Naruto went pale. Standing before him was a rather… pointy new figure. He didn't think it was possible to become more porcupine-like than Sasuke's old look, but this was beyond disbelief.

Several yellow, jagged bangs adorning a purple star of a head. If Naruto remembered correctly, he had seen this hairstyle on Yu-Gi-Oh. And now, instead of Yugi's face, Sasuke's wide eyes stared back at him.

If the situation were different, Naruto might have been laughing madly on the floor. But he was aware that something had gone wrong with his hair too. Too scared to find out, but too uneasy to forget it, Naruto looked into a mirror.

A yellow afro. One might mistaken him for that ridiculous excuse of a man called Bo-Bo-Bo if Naruto had been a tiny bit taller. Standing behind him, however, was the worst of the three. A tall, white haired Jimmy-Neutron-look on a masked face.

"Hm. Suits me quite well, don't you think?" Kakashi smiled wide enough to be seen through the mask. "I kinda like i- what? Why are you guys looking at me like that?"

"N-nothing. Nothing at all. No reason. Yep."

* * *

The end...  
Sorry if I scarred you for life  
Go to my profile if you want to see the picture I scribbled. It'll be my "website" :) 


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